I am just another body part,
I am just another stranger passing by,
Here, there and nowhere

I am just another wasted oxygen,
I am just another caged-bird,
Free but strangled

I am just another ambiguous words,
I am just another grey crossroads,
Clear yet blurry

Maybe someday things will be shorter than these words of mine
Maybe someday i will be braver, while smoking pot or weed,
Maybe someday i will be too drunk and bravely insane,
Maybe someday i will say "i love you"

Finally, i have said it.

Jakarta, Oct 18th 2009
-Deisha T

pict by: Astri Novaria

10 Year Old Fashionista!!

Let me present you The Crème De La Crop
Who is she? Evita Nuh

Seriously, who the heck is she??
Okay, i dubbed her The Youngest Virtual Fashionista & Fashion Blogger (ever). Well, is there any virtual fashionista that's younger than her? She's only 10!!
She owns this fashion blog called The Crème De La Crop

Her blog has this very pretty, sweet, eye-catching and girly layouts. And what's on her blog? Her passion for fashion uh-f-course!! She also has great photos (thanks to her sis, whom i think is a photographer.)

What more can i say, be amazed by her enchanted fashion and stories!!
It's only a click away (:

p.s.
watch out fashion bloggers, she may rule the fashion world once she turns 17! and you'll all be too old then. lol ;D

The Place Where I Could've Leave You

I remember how we met, the strange occurrence we were in
We were made to collide, to tangle up to each other
We are the undivided soul-mate, team-mates, and each other’s cheerleaders
I remember the places we went, the invisible footsteps we left, the dry-out oxygen we exhaled
And I think I remember too damn well when our comatose body came in contact for the first time

I remember how I said ‘I love you’ for the first time, and how I’m struggling to say it again lately
We were drunk and we passed-out in our dreams, we are now living in reality – undividedly
We are each other’s obstacles, I am your barrier, and you are my obstruction
Either we are too fixated on each other, or we are trapped

How could you be so selfish and cruel for not letting me go?
Do you wish to cage me like a bird for your own pleasure?
How could you be so heartless, and couldn’t see the burden I’m carrying around deep inside my heart?
How could you not understand that all I ever did is trying to understand you?
How could you be so still making uncertain promises about the future?
How could you be so blind to see that I’m here and there waiting for some assurance?
How could you not believe that I'm having a hard time to trust you, or to have faith in us?

Could you ever realize that all I ever wanted is to be with you?

Maybe there is a place where we could leave everything’s behind and just runaway
Surely, this is the place where I could've leave you

Yet, i am waiting..

Jakarta, Oct 7th 2009
-Deisha T

In Doubt.

A contemplation of a journey without a start, and perhaps a never-ending one..
Inspired by India Arie's, River Rise

And I haven’t felt like this in so many years. It feels so good, to finally be alive and free from shell. To be a woman – you made me feel like a woman.
And God did answer my prayer, but now I’m just in doubt. Unsure of everything, unsure if this is what I want, unsure if this really is from God?

And you made it so damn complicated. Why does it have to be so hard to trust you? Am I really that insecure around the opposite sex? Am I really that haunted by my past?? Am I really that introvert and mental? Or is it really just you along the way? Whose fault is this??
I am in doubt.

Maybe we should take a break..
Should we?

Jakarta, September 29th 2009
-Deisha T

JOKO ANWAR: STANDING OVATION FOR YOU!!

WARNING: 17+ CONTENT!!!

JOKO ANWAR (http://blog.jokoanwar.com/) - an Indonesian film director of Kala, Pintu Terlarang - went WHOLE NAKED at Circle K, after his own challenge at Twitter (click for his twitter) if he got 3000 followers in one day, well he got almost 15.000 now!!

Here's the pict - http://tweetphoto.com/bnifaybg

If I Could, I Would

i could write you a poem or a love letter,
i could make you a scrapbook,
i could buy you new things,
i could be there 24/7,
but thats not the main idea of our story

if i could read your mind, your heart, and try to understand you,
if i could put a smile on your face every time you see me,
if i could give you my heart for free,
if i could be alone but still think about you every now and then,

if i could kiss away your burden and pain,
if i could hold you tight - so you won't need to miss me every night you fall asleep,
if i could walk beside you,
if i could keep every words you said,
if i could make you feel comfortable,
if i could let yourself opened up to me,
if i could photographed every expressions you made with your face,
if i could ...

if i could write ten thousands more words about you, i would
if i could, i would..

if we could ever trade places,
and you could understand this troublesome heart of mine,
and ease my anxiety for a bit,
just so you could know,
i love you..

Jakarta, Sept 19th 2009
-Deisha T

Complication

You know, you hear, you touch…

There isn’t much to say, there isn’t much to do..

We are the complication, the lifeless comma on a hospital bed, waiting for the sweet taste of an endless period..

Those calendars hanging on our bedroom walls are phony

And the alarm clock never seemed to wake us up on time

But we always find ourselves hand in hand, racing through the universe, skipping the beat of our heart pulse..

Finding ways to get out this absurdity, living our life the way we want it to be

We are not magicians, nor God

We are the specks that caught in the middle of the traffic life

No one notice us or respect us as much as we notice and respect each other’s!

We always depart, never arrive – as if we are living on the terminal waiting for our lives to get going

We are always body to body, soul to soul, heart to heart, mind to mind

We stroke as hard as we talk, we dream as high as we feel

Always hand in hand, step by step – trying to balanced each other’s weigh

Trying to soften our staccato rythm…

Only God knows when this going to end,

This game we are in, we need a third person’s point of view to clear our sight and bathe our polluted mind..

Only God knows when this going to start,

We are the complication, the lifeless comma on a hospital bed, waiting for the sweet taste of an endless beginning..

Jakarta, August 13th 2009

-Deisha T

photolink

“J”

And let’s not forget this guy, definitely ultimately love love love Mr. Depp! Great actor and good looking. Humm.. Besides droopy eyes, i also love those sharp and pointy eyes (as if it would stab you right thru your heart, hehe..) And i also love his style, perhaps if i were a man, i would dressed-up like him, lol ;p

I really think this photo is gorgeous! Great lighting, camera and editing (:

And who doesn’t love a guy who could play the musical instrument right?? Tho’ i’m really not into guys with tattoo, piercing and those who smoke xp

BOYS CULTURE

Arrghh!! I kno’ it’s kinda lamo writing about cheesy eye-candies on my blog, coz i’m just so not into that. But i can’t help it!! I have this thing over lazy faced/ puppy eyed guys, with messy & careless looks/ hair/ style. Seriously, eyes & hair are the ultimate weapon for me to simply make my jaw drop or make my heart beat a lot faster!! ROFL (roll on the floor!) And i don’t like guys who dressed-up too much, do’oh i don’t want them to be way too dressed-up than me! But i want them to have their own style, effortless style – as long as they still know how to put on their clothes in a good looking way. Tho’ i also love seing guys in suit for a change (:

Anyhow, here are some of my eye-candies:

ALEX GASKARTH from the ALL TIME LOW band. I don’t really pay attention to their music, but can’t help paying too much attention on their vocalist. Rwaar, i love him when he dyed his hair brown (:

Okay, i am utterly in ♥ with this photo!! I used to put this as my profile picture on YM!, and a friend of mine, AMEL, literally believed that he was my long distance bf in US! Haha… I wish xp

 

And darn, he still look cute in a weird way. LOL

 

NEXT is RYAN EGGOLD. He plays Ryan Matthews on 90210 spin-off, as a teacher. I like the series so much, and i especially adore this guy a lot. If i could have a lecturer like this at my campus, i’d swear i wouldn’t ever skip class, and i make sure that i will sit in front of the class during his lessons ;p

His eyes were just ‘ooohhh, i’m simply speechless even to describe it!!’ And those messy beard just makes him look even more stunning :)

 

 

NEXT is DEREK SHEPHERD a.k.a. Doctor McDreamy from Grey’s Anatomy (my ultimate fave series!!). And k – o – kay, i am just all over his droopy sad puppy eyes!!! Gosh, especially when he was looking at Meredith Grey (the main character, and his oh-so-on-and-off-lover), those eyes were just full of loveeeeeee, get it? LOL.

I mean seriously, ladies, who could ever resist these eyes??? Hihi ;p

So Ladies, what’s your ultimate weapon from a guy that could steal your heart away?? ♥